I’ve been reading comments about my blog on Twitter these past couple days since I made it public.
I assure you, it is 100% real, not fake as some are claiming.
I think most who are claiming it is fake is because the trade log seems random and ridiculous with no trade plan whatsoever. I fully agree, the trades were all over the place and make no sense.
(Or others are claiming it’s fake because I put in a Paypal link for donations for beer money. Goofy idea I know, but believe it or not, a few of you have bought me a Milwaukee’s Best! I genuinely appreciate the kind gesture, thank you… I just need 39,000 beers to break even…)
What happened to me was I started off trading in control and conservatively playing SSO. But somehow, as soon as I experienced my first loss of only $500 (which involved a $2k-$3k drawdown during the day), things very quickly spiraled out of control.
I don’t know why I would gamble so big on BWLD earnings with a $400k bet on margin just to chase a $500 loss. I did it almost instinctively, without much thought. I just felt the need to get back my $500 and then some, so I chose to play earnings on a momentum stock, especially since CMG was doing so well. I do remember, as I placed the trade, my heart was racing, practically jumping out of my chest. This was an emotional trade to avenge a loss…
In after-hours, I was up $10k on the beat and feeling great. But the next morning, I was quickly down $40k in 30 minutes.
It was extremely painful and I was numb with shock. So I panicked and felt the need to win it all back on the next one and quick. When you have that much pain, you want it gone as soon as possible. So I chose TWTR which was reporting that night, which I knew would swing 10-15% either way.
The crazy thing is I originally wanted to short it, but no shares available. Unfortunately, as a gambler, I just impulsively decided to go long. Like choosing black or red at roulette, for no reason, just because. And I got burned again. And again. And again.
This happened so quickly. I had to make my money back. I had to make it back big and quick. So I took these massive all-in positions. I kept thinking I gotta win on one of these. But I never did. I still can’t believe how many consecutive losses I endured…
I accept all the online criticism and fully agree that I was an “idiot” and “moron”. I have made a horrible mistake returning to trading and I definitely have a gambling problem. The timing on my trading career couldn’t be worse. I quit trading in 2009 after a $130k loss. Never even looked at a stock chart for five years, as I hated stocks. I was long financials in 2009 when Citigroup was at $1. But I gave up after my losses. As it turns out, I quit trading just as the 5 year bull market started.
Then in January 2014, I had a friend casually ask me, do you have any investments? I said no and felt embarrassed to only have savings accounts. I then checked the SP500 and couldn’t believe how much I missed out on. Honestly, I had no idea how the stock market was doing, as I had such a bad taste in my mouth from 09. So I started trading again in Feb 2014 with the genuine hopes of investing. This turned out to be a bad time to get back in as the markets were getting more volatile and toppy. And then with my initial $500 loss, I started making irrational and reckless decisions…